Prompt: Life Line

The old lady looks just like the old gypsy woman from The WolfMan. That would be the original Wolfman and not the one in which we learn Hannibal Lecter is really Benicio Del Toro’s pops.

I’m astonished. Who knew old gypsy women traveled by plane? Was her horse and cart in cargo? How did it fit? Where were the other gypsies? Would there be juggling? I have a million other questions and I’m amazed but I have also seen stranger things on planes … hell, on this very flight. There are also six Elvis impersonators in coach and completely in character. I havent seen so much satin and sequins gathered in one spot since 1978.

She studies my hand. I dont like old gypsy chicks holding my hand in particular. What the hell? My hand has been in stranger and more perilous prediciments. She’s breathing heavily and her breath smells like a mix of chewing gum, dentures, and Pall Malls. It reminds me that I haven’t smoked in about four hours…hateful old bitch.

“Ah!” She exclaims. “Thinner!” 

She cackles like the hag who tried to cook Hansel and Gretal must have cackled. I must look as confused as I feel because she quickly adds, “Steve King loves that one.”

Great. A gypsy lady who also does bad standup. It was going to be a longggg trip. And she’s still not giving me my hand back. Hopefully she’s only going to read my palm and not do something really gross with it

“I see,” she finally says, “you live two lives.”

“What does that mean?”

“Ah, what does it mean to you?”

Great. A gypsy lady who is also a psychiatrist. This sort of shit only happens to me.

“You shall love many,” she continues. “Yet marry none.”

Greay. A gypsy lady who also sounds like my older sister when she’s complaining about my weekend plans. Sis, mind your own business.

“You may have a long life.”

“May?” I ask.

“How the hell would I know for sure, buddy?”

“Wait …that’s a fortune? That’s it?”

She smiles widely and licks my palm before letting me go.


I knew she’d do something gross to my hand.


2 thoughts on “LINES

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